Chief Eagle Foot Found; Seeks Team Vote To Be Re-united with Pink Puffers

Serendipity Coach Chief Eagle Foot, reportedly deported from Southern California and then expelled from the Bahamas, was discovered Saturday near a hot-dog stand in a remote concourse at Miami International Airport.

"Gross," said the disgusted security guard who found the wayward coach wearing the remnants of pickle relish from a makeshift Bloody Mary. CEF, also known as Coach Lam, was allegedly captured in the harbor of San Diego, seeking personal favors at gunpoint from high school classmates (shown here), who snubbed him during the robbery as they had in high school. Rather than arrest him, San Diego authorities took him to Tiajuana. How he managed to escape to the Bahamas was not immediately known.

Bahamian police tired of Lam's antics after he continually allowed himself to be overserved with yellow (Goombay Smash) and pink (Puffer) drinks.

Upon being found in Miami, Eagle Foot asked to have his coaching privileges restored, to which Brigadeer General Angie Hotfoot Wiersma said, "We'll take it under advisement. I'm trying to take this team to the next level."

Lam pleaded with moderate Serendipity forces to at least conduct a vote.