Hotfoot: "It's Out of My Hands Now"

No sooner had Angie Hotfoot Wiersma's Posse been formed than thousands were fleeing their homes in Florida, while sheriff's deputies combed the countryside for arson suspect, Puffer.

"We think Puffer is headed for the low country, possibly water," said Sheriff Byron Mayweather of New Smyrna Beach. Florida Governor Jeb Bush declared a state of emergency and issued a "shoot to kill" order that prompted Phyllis Leadfoot Florian to pack for Florida "to beg for clemency if necessary."

Meanwhile Hotfoot "called off the dogs" on the private search for the pyromaniac. "We'll cooperate with authorities," said Hotfoot. "If they run out of gas and give up, we may regroup."


"Search every outhouse, henhouse, Puffer house . . ."

Puffer, Why Don't You Just Turn Yourself In?

Is Puffer On the Sauce? Florida Pharmacies Have Posted Puffer Alerts


Dissension broke out in the ranks of Serendipity today as team leaders formed a “Florida task force” to find Puffer the mascot.

“Oh, yeah, right. Task force. Sure. You betcha. Task force,” said a disgusted Phyllis Leadfoot Florian, who feels that Brigadier General Angie “Hotfoot” Wiersma’s approach to Puffer’s ills is “punitive.”

“Call it what it is,” said Leadfoot. “It’s a posse. You’ve got a Puffer posse on your hands. We need a more humane approach. Puffer needs our help, not our scorn.”

In light of Puffer’s ramblings in Florida, which included the reported theft of drugs from a Key Largo hospital pharmacy, most Pink Puffers are still supportive of Hotfoot’s efforts to track down the marauding mascot.

“These namby-pamby bleeding hearts just don’t get it, do they?” said Hotfoot in defense of her quest to bring Puffer back into the mainstream. “Besides, I’ve paid my leadership dues here and as long as I’ve got the authority, I’m calling the shots. Puffer’s going down.”

Puffer Terrorizes Florida Trailer Park

The Serendipy mascot was nowhere to be found Sunday following an unexplained "bird thrashing" in central Florida, where Puffer has been partying for weeks.

"I did hear from my sister that Puffer was pretty out of control," said Pippi Longstocking Foot, "but we weren't aware that Puffer had a violent side." Puffer tanked near the end of Run Camp and failed to show for the Borgess Run for the Health of It. Puffer was last seen heading for Key West.

Chief Eagle Foot Gets ManPurse; Looking for Belt and Other Accessories

With Puffers continuing to apply pressure, Chief Eagle Foot today purchased his first purse since the 1970s.

"This speaks volume about my identity," said CEF, "but only to select individuals." The coach was poring over catalogues, looking for a belt to match, "but you can't find anything under $50, and do people really look to see if your belt matches your handbag anyway? I thought it was belt and SHOES."

Troubling the Serendipty leader as well was the fact that the investment comes at a time he's entertaining other coaching offers. "That's not too significant, because I'd be expecting a big buyout, and that should more than cover a wardrobe change."

Serendipity Excels; Partying Takes a Holiday

Partial Team Photograph: "Photo Ops -- in fact anything that involves organization -- not exactly our long suit,'" says CEF, who said attendance was mandatory at the Contender photo shoot.


Saturday was the exception that proved the rule and motto of Serendipity: RUN HARD; PARTY HARDER, as the Puffers showed their true colors (NOT red, white and blue) and brought the National City Half Marathon to its knees on April 29, 2006. The post-race celebration, though spirited and fun, didn't live up to the excitement of coming home to the sights of (Phyllis Florian's) pink balloons and cheering crowds, as they soaked in the celebratory fruits of their labor over the past 13 weeks.

Hugs, smiles and high fives began early as Tammy "Tam Tam" Mills and Angie "Hotfoot" Wiersma led the charge over the challenging route. Mills' time of 2:03:23 officially sealed the deal on earning "Martini Madness," due to the tardiness of some Contenders, and also took her off Puffer probation, which she might have earned anyway merely by quitting The Gazette. Hotfoot's 2:03:25 helped her keep her Brigadeer General role and earned her the Most Effective Running Leader Over The Season (MERLOTS) award. The Spice Girls, Jamie Ekkens (with a 2:10:46) and Melanie Disbro (2:19:25) were sweet. Christine "Hitch" Hitchcock crossed the line with Melanie. Bini "Bini" Stephen turned in her usual solo performance, crossing in 2:11:31. Loren "Duckfoot" Wise pulled away from her husband out of the park and crossed in 2:12:41. Kristen "Pippi Longstockingfoot" Rayner, hit a 2:12:41. Mary "Beep Beep" Vagrt may have had the greatest struggle and despite medical training, never figured out her diet and paid the price. She turned in a 2:26:13. Injury sidelined Phyllis, so her running mate, Shani "Granitefoot" Iuni ran in just over 2:27 with Tim "Manfoot" Walton, whose late-season surge made him the token replacement for Matt "Unlucky" Harmelink, who went PufferDown at Gull Lake. Laurie Ziechs and Mary McCormick (the Zster and her Seester) had other obligations and Kirsten "Color Girl" Brames is pointed at the Fifth Third Run. The Martini Maiden, Jen Schaefer, hit 1:58:32, and Lilliputian spy and former Puffer Ayron Lois crossed in 2:07:32.

Florian won "Team Mother Hen" award, her fourth such honor in four years. Heartiest Party honors were shared by Hotfoot, Pippi and Hitch. Not eligible for that award were Tam Tam (probation rule) and Beep Beep (party professional -- only amateurs were considered). Duckfoot announced Saturday that she had filed for free agency and would be considering offers from teams with "a more domestic bias" ("My children are starting to notice who I hang around with," according to Run Camp papers.) The Puffer Rules committee was divided on the issue whether Matt should be commended for "not complaining" about his injuries or "undercommunicating," but considering the predominance of women on that committee, it's not looking good for the runner once known as Luckyfoot. There were rumors floating Saturday that both Color Girl and Luckyfoot would be considering "domestic outlets" next season.

Mascot Missing; Puffers Fear The Obvious

Everyone's a little confused about roles, gestation periods and the like, but no one was confused by the absence Saturday both of the Easter Bunny and Puffer the Mascot.

"Wake up and smell the coffee people," said Mary "Beep Beep" Vajgrt at the post-run party where Puffer was more than noticeably absent Saturday. "It doesn't take a medical degree to know the birds and the bees don't have anything up on the fish and the rabbits. I knew we were spawning disaster when we let those two get together."

After being fired from Lam & Associates, Puffer was last seen at the East Main Grille, drinking martinis and eating, well, just chips.

Puffer Washes Out; Scaling Back 'til Race Day

Citing a lack of work ethic, PR executive Blaine Lam today let Puffer go after a very short internship. The move was criticized as "insensitive" and "unfair" by the person who donated Puffer to Serendipity, Jen Schaefer.

"Face it," said Schaefer. "Puffer's a fish out of water there. Puffer never had a chance."

Lam countered there were Puffer problems other than productivity. "For one thing, Puffer appears to have gender identity issues. We live in a world of words and when you can't find the right pronoun -- he, she, it, and throw in the Easter Bunny attraction -- well, we just can't seem to make a connection."

Puffer is expected to lie low this week and then join Cheer Squad Leader/Sometime Competitor Phyllis Florian at the Big Event.

Puffer Gets Internship; May Be In Over Head

As the keeper of the Serendipity mascot, Blaine Lam gave Puffer an internship at Lam & Associates.

"Clearly, typing skills are not a strength," said Lam, who put Puffer in charge of guarding the office boom box.

"Even that's not working out too well," said Lam, "because Puffer stares for hours at the Power Bass, apparently thinking there's a largemouth in there. Plus, I'm starting to think that the heavy partying has taken its toll on Puffer. Kinda slow."

Puffers Set Season Record For Consciousness

Although the record was tainted by the fact that it was the shortest Puffer party on record, Serendipity set a new season mark for most Puffers conscious for the longest period of time on Saturday.

"Seven puffers awake for almost two hours," remarked hostess Bobbie Lam. "From what I've heard, this is amazing." Lam confessed that hubby Blaine went long on the orange juice and tomato juice in the drinks and watered down the syrup "ever so slightly."

Puffers were also dazzled by Pippi's boa and Duckfoot's "purty shoes," very likely factors in the record-setting session.

The previous record was set on the Kal-Haven Trail.

Puffer's First Kiss; Still Too Young to 'Pet' Though

Filled to the gills, the Serendipity Mascot, Pink Puffer, was more than a wee-bit tipsy Saturday morning, sipping on mimosas at the serendipity soiree.

"My head was swimming, no doubt about it," said Puffer before making a move on the Easter Bunny.

"There was chemistry there," said Loren Duckfoot Wise.

Waffles, Mimosas Hold Sway

The martini, bloody mary traditions aside, polls seem to indicate that mimosas will win the day Saturday as Serendipity gathers at the home of their coach, Blaine Lam.

"As long as they have maple syrup, I'm there," said Angie 'Hotfoot' Wiersema, one of the hard-core Pink Puffers who will go to 2527 Broadway after Saturday's six-mile run.

Bloody Mary's are on standy.

Waffles are "a lock," said Lam.