Serendipity Excels; Partying Takes a Holiday

Partial Team Photograph: "Photo Ops -- in fact anything that involves organization -- not exactly our long suit,'" says CEF, who said attendance was mandatory at the Contender photo shoot.


Saturday was the exception that proved the rule and motto of Serendipity: RUN HARD; PARTY HARDER, as the Puffers showed their true colors (NOT red, white and blue) and brought the National City Half Marathon to its knees on April 29, 2006. The post-race celebration, though spirited and fun, didn't live up to the excitement of coming home to the sights of (Phyllis Florian's) pink balloons and cheering crowds, as they soaked in the celebratory fruits of their labor over the past 13 weeks.

Hugs, smiles and high fives began early as Tammy "Tam Tam" Mills and Angie "Hotfoot" Wiersma led the charge over the challenging route. Mills' time of 2:03:23 officially sealed the deal on earning "Martini Madness," due to the tardiness of some Contenders, and also took her off Puffer probation, which she might have earned anyway merely by quitting The Gazette. Hotfoot's 2:03:25 helped her keep her Brigadeer General role and earned her the Most Effective Running Leader Over The Season (MERLOTS) award. The Spice Girls, Jamie Ekkens (with a 2:10:46) and Melanie Disbro (2:19:25) were sweet. Christine "Hitch" Hitchcock crossed the line with Melanie. Bini "Bini" Stephen turned in her usual solo performance, crossing in 2:11:31. Loren "Duckfoot" Wise pulled away from her husband out of the park and crossed in 2:12:41. Kristen "Pippi Longstockingfoot" Rayner, hit a 2:12:41. Mary "Beep Beep" Vagrt may have had the greatest struggle and despite medical training, never figured out her diet and paid the price. She turned in a 2:26:13. Injury sidelined Phyllis, so her running mate, Shani "Granitefoot" Iuni ran in just over 2:27 with Tim "Manfoot" Walton, whose late-season surge made him the token replacement for Matt "Unlucky" Harmelink, who went PufferDown at Gull Lake. Laurie Ziechs and Mary McCormick (the Zster and her Seester) had other obligations and Kirsten "Color Girl" Brames is pointed at the Fifth Third Run. The Martini Maiden, Jen Schaefer, hit 1:58:32, and Lilliputian spy and former Puffer Ayron Lois crossed in 2:07:32.

Florian won "Team Mother Hen" award, her fourth such honor in four years. Heartiest Party honors were shared by Hotfoot, Pippi and Hitch. Not eligible for that award were Tam Tam (probation rule) and Beep Beep (party professional -- only amateurs were considered). Duckfoot announced Saturday that she had filed for free agency and would be considering offers from teams with "a more domestic bias" ("My children are starting to notice who I hang around with," according to Run Camp papers.) The Puffer Rules committee was divided on the issue whether Matt should be commended for "not complaining" about his injuries or "undercommunicating," but considering the predominance of women on that committee, it's not looking good for the runner once known as Luckyfoot. There were rumors floating Saturday that both Color Girl and Luckyfoot would be considering "domestic outlets" next season.

Mascot Missing; Puffers Fear The Obvious

Everyone's a little confused about roles, gestation periods and the like, but no one was confused by the absence Saturday both of the Easter Bunny and Puffer the Mascot.

"Wake up and smell the coffee people," said Mary "Beep Beep" Vajgrt at the post-run party where Puffer was more than noticeably absent Saturday. "It doesn't take a medical degree to know the birds and the bees don't have anything up on the fish and the rabbits. I knew we were spawning disaster when we let those two get together."

After being fired from Lam & Associates, Puffer was last seen at the East Main Grille, drinking martinis and eating, well, just chips.

Puffer Washes Out; Scaling Back 'til Race Day

Citing a lack of work ethic, PR executive Blaine Lam today let Puffer go after a very short internship. The move was criticized as "insensitive" and "unfair" by the person who donated Puffer to Serendipity, Jen Schaefer.

"Face it," said Schaefer. "Puffer's a fish out of water there. Puffer never had a chance."

Lam countered there were Puffer problems other than productivity. "For one thing, Puffer appears to have gender identity issues. We live in a world of words and when you can't find the right pronoun -- he, she, it, and throw in the Easter Bunny attraction -- well, we just can't seem to make a connection."

Puffer is expected to lie low this week and then join Cheer Squad Leader/Sometime Competitor Phyllis Florian at the Big Event.

Puffer Gets Internship; May Be In Over Head

As the keeper of the Serendipity mascot, Blaine Lam gave Puffer an internship at Lam & Associates.

"Clearly, typing skills are not a strength," said Lam, who put Puffer in charge of guarding the office boom box.

"Even that's not working out too well," said Lam, "because Puffer stares for hours at the Power Bass, apparently thinking there's a largemouth in there. Plus, I'm starting to think that the heavy partying has taken its toll on Puffer. Kinda slow."

Puffers Set Season Record For Consciousness

Although the record was tainted by the fact that it was the shortest Puffer party on record, Serendipity set a new season mark for most Puffers conscious for the longest period of time on Saturday.

"Seven puffers awake for almost two hours," remarked hostess Bobbie Lam. "From what I've heard, this is amazing." Lam confessed that hubby Blaine went long on the orange juice and tomato juice in the drinks and watered down the syrup "ever so slightly."

Puffers were also dazzled by Pippi's boa and Duckfoot's "purty shoes," very likely factors in the record-setting session.

The previous record was set on the Kal-Haven Trail.

Puffer's First Kiss; Still Too Young to 'Pet' Though

Filled to the gills, the Serendipity Mascot, Pink Puffer, was more than a wee-bit tipsy Saturday morning, sipping on mimosas at the serendipity soiree.

"My head was swimming, no doubt about it," said Puffer before making a move on the Easter Bunny.

"There was chemistry there," said Loren Duckfoot Wise.

Waffles, Mimosas Hold Sway

The martini, bloody mary traditions aside, polls seem to indicate that mimosas will win the day Saturday as Serendipity gathers at the home of their coach, Blaine Lam.

"As long as they have maple syrup, I'm there," said Angie 'Hotfoot' Wiersema, one of the hard-core Pink Puffers who will go to 2527 Broadway after Saturday's six-mile run.

Bloody Mary's are on standy.

Waffles are "a lock," said Lam.

Marc Summers to Puffers: "Not Sure I Can Be There, But I'll Try"

Dear Pink Puffers: I've heard you're having a Marc Summers Party this Saturday, pink waffles and all, and that you'd like for me to attend.

As it turns out, I will be in Paw Paw Saturday, doing a Double Dare promotion at St. Julian Winery, but it's possible I'll be able to get away sometime between the second and third tasting. If I don't happen to make it over, enjoy.

Have a Double (Dare) on me!

Sincerely,


Marc

Strawberry Waffle Vote "Rigged", Pippi Alleges

"Just because I went to Florida and then came up with an alternative to potatoes and eggs, I'm being punished," said Pippi Longstockingfoot after she learned that early voting in the Strawberry Waffle Poll had Puffers leaning toward potatoes and eggs.

"I'm not saying the voting is rigged. OK, well, yes I am saying it's rigged. I just don't know who's rigging it," said Longstockingfoot. "I just want to see justice done.

Puffers, spies, moles and their consorts are expected to RSVP by blog or email regarding

A) Whether they will attend the post-run event Saturday at Coach Eagle Foot's house (2527 Broadway); and

B) Whether they'd prefer

A) Potatoes and eggs or

B) One of the following

A) Waffles with Strawberries or

B) One of the following

A) Stawberries with Waffles or

B) One of the following

A) Whipped cream on Waffles or

B) One of the following

A) Whipped Cream on Strawberries or

B) One of the following

A) Bloody Mary's or

B) One of the following

A) Martinis or

B) Mimosas.

Vote now!

Locals Thank Beep Beep for a Good Time

Dear Dr. V:

Not sure who you are or where you came from, but man, that was some time we had in the Dominican a couple of weeks ago.
Hurry back.

Sincerely,

"The Gang"

Young musicians thank Beep Beep for Training

Dear Mary:

Thank you so much for the music lessons in your hotel room a couple of weeks ago in the Dominican Republic. We've been putting your ideas to work and, wow, we never realized that the musical profession could be so much fun. It was great to be in the hands of a pro.

Sincerely,

"The Gang"

Aspiring Chefs thank Beep Beep for Training

Dear Mary:

Thank you so much for your chef inservice in your hotel room a couple of weeks ago in the Dominican Republic. We've been putting your ideas to work and, wow, we never realized that the cooking profession could be so much fun. It was great to be in the hands of a pro.

Sincerely,

"The Gang"

Medical students thank Beep Beep for training

Dear Dr. V:

Thank you so much for your medical inservice in your hotel room a couple of weeks ago in the Dominican Republic. We've been putting your ideas to work and, wow, we never realized that the medical profession could be so much fun. It was great to be in the hands of a pro.

Sincerely,

"The Gang"

OK, Puffers. That's enough

Could Puffers Make Guiness Book of World Records?

At last count, the Pink Puffer blog had the world's largest collection (two) of "My butt hurts. What?" cartoons.

To protect and, ideally, enhance this lead, Puffers are asked to send their own version of "My butt hurts. What?" cartoons and jokes.

Last Supper Club Suspensions Announced

Phyllis Leadfoot Florian and Shani Granitefoot Iuni have been suspended from all Serendipity activities through the end of Lent.

"This should not be confused with an act of religious judgmentalism," said Chief Eagle Foot upon his return from Miami. "This is simply a way for me to flex my coaching muscles, you know, get back into the swing of wielding power. I figure the self-imposed restrictions on these members of the Serendipity Supper Club are severe enough that this won't cause a hardship. Lent ends on Holy Thursday and the Puffers are expected back for Saturday's run at the Borgess Health & Fitness Center.

Chief Eagle Foot Found; Seeks Team Vote To Be Re-united with Pink Puffers

Serendipity Coach Chief Eagle Foot, reportedly deported from Southern California and then expelled from the Bahamas, was discovered Saturday near a hot-dog stand in a remote concourse at Miami International Airport.

"Gross," said the disgusted security guard who found the wayward coach wearing the remnants of pickle relish from a makeshift Bloody Mary. CEF, also known as Coach Lam, was allegedly captured in the harbor of San Diego, seeking personal favors at gunpoint from high school classmates (shown here), who snubbed him during the robbery as they had in high school. Rather than arrest him, San Diego authorities took him to Tiajuana. How he managed to escape to the Bahamas was not immediately known.

Bahamian police tired of Lam's antics after he continually allowed himself to be overserved with yellow (Goombay Smash) and pink (Puffer) drinks.

Upon being found in Miami, Eagle Foot asked to have his coaching privileges restored, to which Brigadeer General Angie Hotfoot Wiersma said, "We'll take it under advisement. I'm trying to take this team to the next level."

Lam pleaded with moderate Serendipity forces to at least conduct a vote.